Central, Uni, and the best place on earth.

Highschool bathrooms. (Please note this is for boys bathroom only as I have never had a good experience walking into the girls bathroom)

Highschool bathrooms are the things of nightmares. The very thought of them disgusts me and most likely you as well unless you are some type of humanoid fly. How any human could find these deathtraps utilities appealing is beyond me, and I feel especially sorry for the janitors who have to clean them every day. I too would go bald and have gray hair if I had to deal with the, ahem, creativity of high schoolers every day.

Let me start by talking about the situation of bathrooms while I was at central. The first floor bathroom was actually decent, it only smelled like socks after a day of running (Which was really good compared to shall we say, the 3rd floor bathroom which I will get to later). It was clean... ish, depends on your definition of clean, but since the toilets weren't covered in human excretion, it might as well be the cleanest bathroom in this entire flipping town. 

2nd floor bathroom was basically a discount off brand Great Value 1st floor bathroom so no need to talk about it.

Now the 3rd floor, I don't even know where I should start, but whatever.

When you enter, first of all make sure you're not slipping on the wet paper towels, then you will see the "urinal" or as it is better known, the Trough. You know the feeding trough you saw in Charlottes web back when you were a happy little child? Yeah, that, except as a urinal. No dividers, no designated spaces, just a trough lying there for you to do number 1, and god forbid someone else was there. It can get quite embarrassing with the lack of privacy, in fact it was common practice to wait in a line so 1 person could go run into the corner of the trough, do there business, and leave.

Ok, the toilets, lets just say, if you had to number 2 in school, you held it in. No question about it, You feel the urge 1st period? Well too bad you have 8 hours of suffering before you can go home and relieve yourself.  However if someone's holding you at gunpoint to use the bathroom (Which is the only valid reason I can think of for using the toilet), good luck. 

I will write a list of the process:

1. Find a working toilet, seriously this is harder than you think, I swear their were more broken/clogged toilets than working ones during the school year.

2. Flush it first, if there's nothing in it then you are one lucky bastard.

3. Wipe the toilet seat. Please. This should be self explaining.

4. Relieve yourself if you haven't thrown up yet.

If you think this is all, then you have another thing coming.

When I first came to Uni high and saw the bathroom, it was like a luxury. The place was actually clean, and the toilets didn't look like a sinkhole in Florida, but most importantly, I could breathe.

I kid you not, at central, there was another name for the bathrooms, the vape room. By walking into the bathroom you are signing a contract that you understand there is a 70% chance someone is smoking or vaping in there, and you also agree to not snitch on that someone less you wish to get death stares for the rest of your life. Whenever I saw someone vaping or smoking I 180d and left instantly. I'm no genius but I think most people would rather not have to deal with both the bathroom situation and second hand smoke, or even worse, the blueberry cupcake water vapor. 

After you're done using the bathroom you wash your hands right? Well at least you should, so after you're done raging at how the faucet isn't working, you hope there are paper towels. People usually rip out all the paper towels for some reason and throw it all over the ground, hence the part where I said earlier to not trip over the paper towels, which applies when you leave as well.

I still hate blueberry cupcake water vapor to this day.